Below average looking man openly admits to seeing fat women as subhuman.

Over the years my eyes have witnessed a good amount of douchebagery, but nothing comes quite close to Ian and his entitlement.

Imagine this… You’re a late 40-something single bloke, you look like Dr. Who and Pee-wee’s lovechild. Your hairline goes so far back, archaeologists are struggling to find it and you’ve just eliminated half of the female population as a potential partner. It’s not looking great, is it?

So, join me in breaking down some truly horrible messages on dating apps, that have been submitted to us to make an example out of.

And before you think it, no, it’s not “illegal”. We aren’t breaking the terms and conditions of said dating apps and a conversation or web chat between two people doesn’t automatically qualify for confidentiality, unless both parties have specifically agreed to that prior. Abusers don’t qualify for anonymity.

So, let’s start with his opening message:

“You’re from Durham and not a size 16, you go girl!”

Immediately he’s implying that there’s something wrong with being a size 16 or over. At least he’s shown us the red flag upon introduction so we don’t waste any more of our time hey?

But like really, what answer was he expecting from that? An “Omg thank you so much! I’ve just been waiting here patiently for years for a man to come along and validate my size! I think I’m IN LOVE!!”?

Moving along.

“Yeah man they’re all whales here… Me and my bar manager used to stand outside our place on a Saturday night naming the creatures going past.”

Wow. Where does this cockacity even come from? You’re not fooling anyone with that kiss curl Ian. By now it’s common knowledge that people who feel insecure within themselves, are the biggest critic of others. Rip them down to make yourself feel better. We see you.

But why is this form of misogyny so acceptable still?

Because that’s exactly what it is. Yes, in 2022 men STILL hate women. They target us and attack us for no legitimate reason at all, other than the fact we are women. Maybe they still view us as inferior to them.

No idea why! Half of them can’t even upkeep basic hygiene and still leave skid marks in their boxers like a 3-year-old. But go on, proceed to mansplain to me how men are superior because they act like pack leaders/protectors and hunter-gatherers (I had to save my ex from ants). I’ve heard it all before and its quite frankly the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever subjected my poor ears to.

All this is just accepted on dating apps these days. It’s a given you’ll receive a dick pic. It’s a given that you’ll receive abuse for politely declining a man’s offer for a date. It’s a given that many opening lines from messages from strangers online will be “Show me your tits”.

It’s not good enough. We do not want this. Do better.

In the meantime, Ian carries on with the bashing:

“I’d be more tempted to throw harpoons at most of the lasses in Durham than take them home. Honestly the women of Durham are fat like. You seem to be doing well tho.”

So, when Ian sees bigger looking women, he doesn’t JUST view them as animals, but the other thought that pops into mind is violence.

Don’t be so quick to dismiss comments like this as “banter”. What exactly is funny about saying you’ve picked a stranger off the street to ridicule and imaging yourself essentially killing them? This whole mind set and thought pattern is actually more worrying than funny. If this is what he sees as a joke, imagine the severity of what he views as harsh.

Anyway, who would voluntarily want to go home with Ian? Do we have any takers? Going once, going twice…

Now is the part where you say “Why don’t you just delete/block and move on”?

This isn’t a solution. When you ignore a man like this, he will just move on to the next woman and harass her instead. Why should it be the next woman’s problem? When is it going to stop for all of us? The purpose of this, is not only to make an example out of these horrible men and show how you SHOULDN’T behave. But also, to start a notion of not normalising it either. As soon as we put our foot down and say NO, this behaviour is not acceptable and it’s not okay, we are setting the bar.

We demand to be treated better and we will not tolerate any disrespect, harassment or abuse.

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